My blog doesn’t get much traffic these days, and the traffic it does receive is largely from crawlers (especially language model crawlers) or from spam bots. Consequently, the entirety of all comments I have received on my blog this year with the exception of one have been spam.

I have Akismet enabled on this blog, yet it isn’t catching what’s coming through to the tune of 5-10 messages a day, many of which are absolutely appalling, disgusting, and explicit. I don’t have the time to moderate all the absolute garbage that’s coming through, so the easiest solution is simply to turn comments off.

I rarely receive any comments of interest on my blog (I haven’t for years), so there isn’t much point to using blogs as a starter point for conversations any more—that almost always occurs on social media.

It’s unfortunate, but this is honestly the best option since I don’t make regular posts. I also have zero interest in reading some of the absolutely abhorrent crap contained in the spam my blog is receiving—even by accident.

I have retained all comments to date that have been made by people I know or people I can validate as most likely human. Every other comment has otherwise been deleted and comments disabled.

(Or, alternatively, “Why I never seem to post updates as often as I should.”)

I apologize for the lengthy radio silence, at least on this blog, and I haven’t any particularly good reason why. As I look through the list of unpublished posts, I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I have a veritable pile of posts that are in various states of completeness that were never published—some mostly finished, others sorely out-of-date, and others still little more than a pile of notes.

I think I need to change this, and here’s why.

Lately, I’ve found myself journalling by hand, and I’ve also learned (surprisingly!) that I’m enjoying it. I start with an entry of scripture, I write some comments related to the passage—or to ancillary research I’ve stumbled across—and finalize the entry with a list of prayers. But, the lesson I’ve learned that was most unexpected was how much I enjoy writing entries by hand.

This has achieved two goals: One, my handwriting has markedly improved over a fairly short period of time. I’ve typically avoided writing anything in cursive simply because I’m left-handed and most writing implements are absolutely worthless for mixing left-handed writing with cursive. After having acquired an excellent pen (using Schmidt refills—I’ll write more on this in the future), I’ve found that cursive is virtually effortless compared to print. This surprises me because it’s been more than 30 years since I last wrote cursive with deliberate intent. Two, my proclivities toward verbosity are not as readily indulged when I’m writing by hand compared to writing in front of my computer. I’m a relatively fast typist, so typing tends to follow stream-of-consciousness more readily, and I can author substantial articles in relatively short order. The only limit to the latter is my mind. The former, writing by hand, is limited by my hands. This has aided me in brevity; I now have to think more clearly about what I intend to write because it actually requires work.

However, this also frees up some mental resources while simultaneously encouraging me to continue it elsewhere. As such, I suspect I’ll be writing more articles on my blog in the future.

In any case, I hope to continue posting with more regularity going forward. I’m tempted to clean things up a little bit, maybe redo the template, or archive prior entries. I don’t know for sure. Time will tell, as it does in all things.

The handful of people who periodically check my blog for updates have no doubt noticed a dearth of content for well over a year and a half (closer to two years, in fact). There are myriad reasons for this, and I’m not writing today to make excuses, but the reality is that sometimes life gets in the way of other pursuits. I’ve been busy, to say the least, but a few curve balls thrown in my direction certainly took the wind out of my sails and stripped my conscious mind of some of its more creative endeavors.

Just a little under a month ago, my father passed away due to complications from COPD after a long and arduous battle with the disease. This culminated in a number of related ailments that required us to put him under hospice care where he endured for nearly eight months. During this time, we developed an incredible friendship with his hospice nurse, and the efforts she put forward to keep him comfortable were no less than astounding. I would go so far as to say that she is one in a million regarding her expertise and background; she was one of the few people Dad would listen to and certainly one of the only healthcare practitioners he trusted during his end-of-life journey. For my part, she became someone akin to the sister I never had. We shared stories, laughter, tears, and loss. Neither Mum nor I would have it any other way—but make no mistake: The path was not an easy one.

I learned that hospice is one of the most under-utilized healthcare programs available. Partially, this is due to the additional stress and work placed upon primary caregivers (usually family). Mostly, though, I feel this is driven by the unfortunate reality that most people simply don’t know hospice exists. It is unfortunate precisely because there are many people who would rather pass in the comfort of their own homes, surrounded by family and familiarity, rather than end their lives the bowels of a faceless, sterile hospital or care facility.

I apologize to those of you I have forgotten to inform of Dad’s passing. I know there are a many of you who have slipped through the cracks. It isn’t because I don’t care; it’s because I’ve since run out of energy. The people who found out first were the amazingly wonderful church family I’ve gotten to know since 2020; my close friends and associates; and immediate family. My social presence elsewhere on the web has served as something of an outlet during these times where I’ve shared a few of my experiences. Frankly, I haven’t felt it was appropriate to place this on my blog until now. There are reasons, of course, and plenty of excuses. But, now is the time.

I’m hoping to pick back up on posting with a bit more regularity. I have a large number of draft items that may or may not see the light of day. When a particular item gets posted depends on how I feel, of course, and whether or not they’re still applicable to today’s world (some are). It’s all going to require effort and motivation to restart a handful of long-neglected hobbies, such as this, but I think I’m getting closer.

The past two years have been something of a personal tribulation: From a fairly long-term relationship ending in a rather unfortunate and ugly manner in 2020, to Dad’s illness taking a turn for the worse in 2021 increasing his required level of care, to having to put a number of plans on hold, to halting work on a startup with a very talented friend and colleague of mine, to facing the death of a family member, to looking into a new line of work writing in a language that I think will be both refreshing and therapeutic, it’s been a bit of an adventure—to put it mildly.

I have a few news items I’m hoping to pass along sooner or later, and I have a more than enough FOSS projects to announce more publicly (leastwise more so than I already have) that I need to revisit and pick back up (especially documentation!). There’s still much to be done. To say that I’m exhausted at this point, mentally and physically, is probably an understatement. Maybe I need a break, a rest, some respite; I don’t know.

Thank you all for your understanding. I’m hopeful that future updates will bring forth a new ray of light into this world!